In my last post, I was going through a very large, confusing, ugly, and just plain hectic state of mind. You can imagine my excitement of climbing back up to Idywilld this weekend. We went up on Saturday, and returned earlier to-day. It was great to get away from my small town, to another small town with better scenery. I was able to relax and relax and relax when I wasn't working, and it was so nice. Shannon and I decided to spend our free time watching some random movies I brought with us, (Into The Wild, Charade, and Casino Royale.) Our time in Idy was spent very well, and admittedly much needed. We had a lot of time to talk about a whole bunch of things, such as future plans. I'm glad to have her as my sister; my best friend. Our time we've spent together just allows us to grow closer so much the more. I'm so looking forward to a lot of things God might possibly have in store for us in our futures. And I enjoy talking about the future when it looks like there might be a perfect opportunity; we'll see.
I've been realizing a lot lately that I really need to start looking at the future. Oh, how nice it is to have reachable goals, and how nice it is that I come closer and closer to reaching said goals. However, it is all up to the omnipotent, all-knowing God. I am willing with all that I am to go where He leads me, that question is, where to? I don't have the answer to that right now. All I know is where I am; here and now. I am a full-time student with a part-time job,with hardly enough room to play with the neighbourhood kids. I spend a lot of my time wondering and pondering questions; over analyzing every situation. I pass up opportunities to hang out with friends to study for a test. I am a caged bird, waiting to be set free and fly. I want to fly, and will the first chance I get. But...in the meantime, I will continue to go to school five days a week and work all of weekends that I'm offered. We'll see how this semester goes. I hope I don't lose myself, rather find myself more than the last five months. The only way I can find myself is to study the Bible; to study the inspired words of God. He will guide me, lead me, give me the strength and discernment I'll need to survive in this dying world.
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